Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
