It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
