I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
