When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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