i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
