We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
