I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
