well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
