They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
