Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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