i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
