Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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