so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
