It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
