ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
