is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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