p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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