is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
