Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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