I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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