All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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