ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
