Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
