dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
