I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
