Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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