i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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