and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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