What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
