He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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