I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
as a side note pls kill me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
