I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We need to get me chipped asap
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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