So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
