I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
