I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
