Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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