a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
