i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am available for nakedness
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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