i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
