Where did you get a picture of my penis
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
