Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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