Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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