i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
