planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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