Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
