How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
