How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
