you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
