are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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