Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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