Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
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I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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