I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
