I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
