It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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