operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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