ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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