i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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